This time it’s all concerning Baseball. Oh Japan. How I love your TV.

(via Yahoo) Family planning groups object to abortion plan.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Family planning groups and at least one member of Congress objected on Tuesday to a Bush administration memo that defines several widely used contraception methods as abortion and protects the right of medical providers to refuse to offer them.

The proposal would cut off federal funds to hospitals and states that attempt to compel medical providers to offer legal abortion and contraception services to women

The proposal circulated to media defines abortion broadly to include many types of contraception, including birth control pills and intrauterine devices.

Health and Human Services officials declined to confirm the proposal, but noted their responsibility to protect against discrimination of doctors and pharmacists who object to abortion or birth control on religious or moral grounds.

———–

A copy of a memo that appears to be an HHS draft provided to Reuters, carries a broad definition of abortion.

“The Department proposes to define abortion as ‘any of the various procedures — including the prescription and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action — that results in the termination of the life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantation,”‘ it said

———–

The proposed rule is specifically designed to counter recent state laws enacted to ensure that women can get contraception when they want or need it.

“Despite the fact that several conscience statutes protecting health care entities from discrimination have been in existence for decades, recent events suggest the public and people in the health care industry are largely uninformed of the protections,” the draft reads.

“In May 2007, Connecticut passed a law requiring all hospitals to distribute Plan B to rape victims, despite religious organizations’ objections to the abortifacient nature of the drug,” it adds.

New York Rep. Nita Lowey, a Democrat, said the draft proposal goes too far.
“Federal law currently protects individuals who prefer not to provide abortion services,” Lowey said in a statement.

“This draft regulation would significantly expand the definition of abortion to include birth control for the purpose of conscience clause exemptions. By trumping state laws that guarantee women’s access to prescription contraceptives, this policy would encourage health care institutions seeking to limit access to birth control,” she added.

I mean what the holy fuck? What. The. Holy. Fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I just… the stupid levels are reaching critical.

Aeryn Sun tells you all exactly what I think of you today:

Just found a pic of a great gag toy for kids of all ages. No. Really. Not rascist at all. Nope. Nuh uh.

Best part? “Made in Hong Kong”.

I decided I needed zome Zod Motivation, so I made us all one. To share. To love. The way Zod loves us.

I got to the bar a bit early, because I noticed that the outside lights were already on. People were already heading in. How strange. But I’d been gone for two weeks, so maybe everything changed. Stranger things have happened.

I walked in and Moran spotted me. Which is when the trouble began.

“Where have you been? It’s been so long.” she said.

“Two weeks,” I protested.

“Still, you just go and leave me alone and…”

“Can you find forgiveness?”

“Maybe.”

“Then let the healing begin!”

We had a lot of long talks last night. It’s funny, when she was the waitress she was always running around the place so much we got to talk in short bursts. Now that she’s behind the bar we end up having actual conversations a lot more.

So we talked. And talked. About her English class, her school in general, her summer travel plans, my summer plans, some strange-ass ex of hers, you know - life. Agnes was working, too, and there ya go. No real funny stories from the first part of last night.

Later on though we had some guidos come by. They were … well they were, weren’t they? “Yo, just gimmie what’s on tap,” one of them asks. Moran pointed out they had no taps. “Oh,” he says looking confused. She points to the beer selection above the register and he looked at it like … like Non trying to make heat vision work:

They get a beer and talk to these Guidettes they were with. Everyone there is happy, if confused. Until one of the girls decides to step outside.

“Excuse me,” I hear from behind me, “this says use other door but the other door doesn’t work either.” There are, of course, two doors. One is locked the other is the only way in or out of the bar. She is, therefore, now trying to tell me that we are all locked in. Hmm.

“Just … just push?” I offer, turning to watch. So she pushes. And turns to look at me with hopelessness in her eyes. “Just give it a big sharp push, go for it. Just push the hell out of it, sometimes it sticks.” She looks doubtful, but eyes the door with steely menace. And pushes the door hard. A bit too hard. And almost fell face first out of the place. Woops.

But overall, it was a nice quiet night full of conversation and beer and music. Which tends to be a recipe for win.

Sometimes I like to do the hand jive while listening to The Doors. Just because.

When I do, though, I specifically picture myself dressed like Travolta.

Some of what you missed this past week at the footnote: A great, interesting column by J.B., a scary look at my type of reality by Krystal, A.J. Jones latest history lesson and a bunch more stuff. And coming this week: well a lot more stuff!

The footnote updates multiple times over the course of the day, and includes the Daily Question. Where we ask you stuff and you answer and we party.

So come over and stop by everyday!

Yup. Sick.

So it’s 4:45am and I can’t sleep and I’m feverish and sneezing constantly and I want hashbrowns and eggs and orange juice. I am in no way tired and I have a feeling this weekend will be an interesting blur.

So the other day I posted the ABCs of Your Mom, a 26 line long set of your mom jokes, type of thing. Because who doesn’t like a good “Your Mom” joke?

Your mom likes them, she likes everyone.

Anyway.

So I get home and see I have email. From my mother. Asking if the column was “meant for her.” And suddenly I found myself trying to explain “Your Mom” jokes to, well, my mom.

So there ya go.