So I made some Presidential Hopeful images. One for each. Because I care. I do.

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HAHAHAHAH! Ok so if you go to the OFFICIAL John McCain store (all sales considered contributions) you can find a pen. The “Students for McCain Pen” to be exact. Here is the small image on the site:

So there you go, it’s a pen. I am hotlinking the images directly. I have not altered them. Go to the link above and see for yourself. See? Pen. Now if you click to enlarge and get a big picture of the pen this is the image, again - hotlinked from the site and not touched by me:

STUDENT’S FOR MCCAIN! Holy fucking hell. I can not stop laughing! Vote for McCain! He’s for Edumacation fer SURE!

10:46 AM on Friday - McCain’s people have edited the photo of the pen to remove the rogue apostrophe. So there you go. Nothing to look at it, it would seem.

And someone grabbed a screenshot so here it is before it was fixed:

(via Yahoo) Family planning groups object to abortion plan.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Family planning groups and at least one member of Congress objected on Tuesday to a Bush administration memo that defines several widely used contraception methods as abortion and protects the right of medical providers to refuse to offer them.

The proposal would cut off federal funds to hospitals and states that attempt to compel medical providers to offer legal abortion and contraception services to women

The proposal circulated to media defines abortion broadly to include many types of contraception, including birth control pills and intrauterine devices.

Health and Human Services officials declined to confirm the proposal, but noted their responsibility to protect against discrimination of doctors and pharmacists who object to abortion or birth control on religious or moral grounds.

———–

A copy of a memo that appears to be an HHS draft provided to Reuters, carries a broad definition of abortion.

“The Department proposes to define abortion as ‘any of the various procedures — including the prescription and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action — that results in the termination of the life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantation,”‘ it said

———–

The proposed rule is specifically designed to counter recent state laws enacted to ensure that women can get contraception when they want or need it.

“Despite the fact that several conscience statutes protecting health care entities from discrimination have been in existence for decades, recent events suggest the public and people in the health care industry are largely uninformed of the protections,” the draft reads.

“In May 2007, Connecticut passed a law requiring all hospitals to distribute Plan B to rape victims, despite religious organizations’ objections to the abortifacient nature of the drug,” it adds.

New York Rep. Nita Lowey, a Democrat, said the draft proposal goes too far.
“Federal law currently protects individuals who prefer not to provide abortion services,” Lowey said in a statement.

“This draft regulation would significantly expand the definition of abortion to include birth control for the purpose of conscience clause exemptions. By trumping state laws that guarantee women’s access to prescription contraceptives, this policy would encourage health care institutions seeking to limit access to birth control,” she added.

I mean what the holy fuck? What. The. Holy. Fuck?

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I just… the stupid levels are reaching critical.

It’s a funny thing. I hear guys, boys mostly, taunt and yell at each other all the time: “Fag!” “Hahaha! that’s so gay, yo!” “Aw man who the fuck wants to be so gay?” And I have to laugh. They are, they think, proving their manliness. They’re proving how strong, how confident and able they are. They strut and they pose, like wild monkeys, to prove to each other that they are all Alpha Males. They’re very very proud of themselves for fitting a mold they have decided they should fit like a snug glove.

Of course they ignore that molds don’t exist, unless you mean the green, fuzzy kind that lives in the back of the fridge. What they enforce, by mistake / ignorance / bigotry / confusion is limitations. They want to be manly men, and for them that means a very slim spectrum of behavior. Go outside of that range and everything falls apart for them.

It’s scary in the wilderness, or so they seem to think. The unknown is scary and it leads to uncomfortable places. They’re convinced of this, listening to tales at the campfire of their lives, and never daring to just walk beyond the firelight to see what the reality of it all is.

You want to be a badass? You want to be strong, fierce, powerful and capable? You want to exude that and have people know, when you walk into a room, that you are perfectly capable of dealing with life, in whatever form it may take - from throwing a punch to taking a drink to talking to people and having a good time?

Yul Brynner was a badass. Go watch Magnificent Seven or West World for example. There was one badass motherfucker. Brynner walked across a dry, dusty street, wearing all black, and managed to make you understand that while he could kill you without thinking hard about it, he could also pour you a drink. He was a man’s man. An action star, a hero commanding a huge screen presence. And he did musicals. He could sing, and he could dance and twirl with the best of them. Brynner knew something:

Limitations do not serve you well.

Selecting a small slice of gender identity for yourself is doing yourself a disservice. So you say you are “100% male”, and that’s great. I guess. But what does it mean? Do you have to make moaning noises if someone wants you to watch a “chick flick”? Are you supposed to hate pink, Hello Kitty and ponies? Are you supposed to shun fruit cocktails that are fancy, tall and refreshing?

Because in that case, and I say this from the heart, fuck off.

I’ve been in a lot of fights. I’ve had my share of hard times, drunk my drinks and smoked a goodly amount of fine cigars. I’ve learned that when I want to back down out of fear I should always push forward, smartly. I’ve faced down a lot of my own fears and come out standing. I’m not afraid to live life, enjoy the fuck out of it, and go back for more the very next day.

I also love musicals, ponies, rainbows, John Hughes films (Some Kind of Wonderful, I don’t just mean The Breakfast Club) and Gregory Hines movies (White Knights is just divine).

I see no disconnect there. Stopping and saying that I have to be one thing or the other in order to fit some faked up definition of a gender role is patently silly What do I have to gain by it? Limiting myself, denying myself things I enjoy? For what? So I can sit with other blind, narrow boxes on a shelf somewhere and rot?

Or I can admit that gender identity isn’t caused by physical sex, and isn’t sexual identity either. It is its own thing and needs to be respected as such. And then I can be who and what I want.

Because every badass I have ever known, ever seen, and ever heard of, is comfortable with themselves first (Bruce Lee was a cha-cha champion, don’t forget). It’s like a friend of mine said: “It’s a pre req.” And let me tell you something: She’s a badass. As manly as anyone I know, by the traditional standards. You want her at your back in a fight, and you would turn to her when the shit goes sideways. She’s also as girly as she feels like being. Because none of those labels truly matter.

Until we all understand that we simply can’t get anywhere useful.

Who are you, today?

I have always read books. Tons of them. Of all types. When I was a kid I went from Dr. Seuss to Heinlein in one easy step (with a short stop at Simak in between, to be fair) and that worked for me. Sometimes I read or have read things that are aimed at the age group I sit in at that moment. Sometimes I don’t. A good story is a good story, and never a mind minds. We all find our own entrance points into stories. We always have.

Except, of course, the UK Gov. doesn’t want that to continue. They want to introduce age bands onto children’s books. This way, they reason, parents and children alike will know what books are considered appropriate for their kids to read.

I feel queasy just typing that, to be honest.

Because let’s look at the side effects:

* Children don’t like things aimed at their age group, they want things aimed older than them. It’s simply true. No 17 year old kid reads 17 magazine, ya know? So slapping a notice on a book that says “For 13 year olds” is a great way to ensure no 13 year old reads it.

* Some children read above or below their “age group.” No shame in it, either way, but now they have to be shunned for it, either way, because that’s what kids do.

* Doctor Who, that show you probably love, is a kid’s show. Think about that. It is aimed at kids by being smart, adult at times, and exciting. If it was a book, or just take the Dr. Who books really, will they be aimed at the 10 and 12 year olds who adore the thing, or will they be labeled much older because of what they deal with even though younger children have no problem with the material?

* Books are unique. Children are unique. Putting things in tiny boxes does not make them magically fit the boxes.

* When I write a story I want people to read that story. Same goes for any author or any story. Slapping labels on the books limits who will actually read them, unfairly and with extreme bias. And fuck that.

There is a website, No to Age Banding, that you want to go to and mail them from and become a supporter of. It costs nothing. It could help a lot. So please. go there. Help stop this before it entrenches. Because the UK knows better. And if we don’t help them remember that then you know the US will follow. And so on.

Please. For the sake of every story you have ever loved. For every tale you wished on as a child. For your own children, around or yet to come. STOP THIS.

(via Rawstory) Kucinich starts impeachment hearings for President Bush:

Thirty-five articles were presented by Rep. Dennis Kucinich to the House of Representatives late Monday evening, airing live on C-SPAN.

“The House is not in order,” said Kucinich to Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), upon which Pelosi pounded her gavel.

“Resolved,” Kucinich then began, “that President George W. Bush be impeached for high crimes and misdemeanors, and that the following articles of impeachment be exhibited to the United States Senate. …

“In his conduct while President of the United States, George W. Bush, in violation of his constitutional oath to faithfully execute the office of president of the United States, and to the best of his ability preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, has committed the following abuses of power…”

The first article Kucinich presented, and many that followed, regarded the war in Iraq: “Article 1 - Creating a secret propaganda campaign to manufacture a false case for war against Iraq.”

And we’ll see where this goes. I don’t exactly have high hopes. Raw Story has some video and some transcript in awful uncleaned form. But anyway. We’ll see. We will see.

YES, WE SHALL: the Cobra ‘08 campaign video. This… well… Cobra Commander has my vote now.

Meet Tania Derveaux. She’s Belgian. She once ran for the senate there, promising 40000 blow jobs. She didn’t win. This time she has a different concept!

She’s have sex with you (if you are a virgin), in return for proof that you support Net Neutrality. Yup. As she says: “I’m using sex in a positive way to spread awareness. The reason why only virgins can apply is because I don’t want to make this promise to such a large amount of people that I’ll have to turn some down.”

Now, Tania also has some terms of service:

Description of Services
The services consist of Tania performing sexual intercourse with the applicant, the form and style of the performance will be discussed prior to the act, Tania tries to allow as much freedom as possible in this area but she does reserve the right to decline suggestions. Tania covers all her personal expenses, including travel. Any sort of recording (video, audio or photographs) of the performance is allowed for non-commercial use. Tania adheres to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 30 minutes, no exceptions will be made under any circumstance.

3. General Requirements and Rules of Conduct
Services will only be provided to those who meet the following requirements:
applicants must be 18yrs old or above:

• Condom must be used, except if the applicant prefers to release his semen upon Tania’s body without any oral or vaginal contact.
• Anal sex is negotiable, although Tania will cease the performance immediately if any form of ’surprise buttsex’ occurs.
• Multiple participants are not allowed, but applicants are entitled to have an audience observe the performance.
• If anywhere along the process, it becomes clear that the applicant is not a virgin, Tania reserves the right to terminate all activity.
• Applicant must be able to provide sufficient evidence that clearly shows he has been defending net neutrality (eg. a print-out of a forum post, a link to a vlog).
• Applicant agrees that in the event of the applicant infringing upon Terms of Service during the process of the act, Tania is not responsible for any genital injury that the applicant may suffer.
• Tania may deny service for hygiene reasons.

So, again, if you are interested: Go here and sign up, I guess.

Yes good citizens of the world, today is Earth Day. Earth Day - proving to the world, since 1970, that we give enough of a crap about our own planet to go have craft fairs in its name once a fucking year! Hell yes! Let’s go get some fennel cake from some people wearing Birkenstocks and talk about the environment!

Did you know that the Earth has a flag? It’s true! Taken from Earthsite.org: ” The Earth Flag is a powerful symbol of internationality and common interest, a standard that calls all people to mutual allegiance to their only universally-shared resource- the Earth itself.”

See, when you have an EARTHFLAG it is so powerful that though the flag might wave, the picture of the Earth never will. IT DOES NOT WAVER! Or it’s a shitty graphic done by a 14 yr old in Prague as homework. Whichever.

I’m not against Earth Day, mind you. I just think someone has to speak out against the way we seem to celebrate it. It’s like a po’ man’s Easter. “Yay! It’s Earth Day! Let’s have a carnival!” Let’s not. Let’s plant some shit. Let’s go do something worth while. Every day. Not just once a year. But one day a year to give a shit? I suppose it can be seen as “a start” but this is the 38th start. You’d think it woulda caught on a little better by now?

Fuck even the WWF has a cute Panda logo. Better than that shitty flag. The Earth needs marketing! Mars needs women! Venus needs a better razor! Wait… off track, off track!

So yeah I don’t know what to do about Earth Day. I was going to celebrate. You know, by not doing anything. Hey! It’s how I celebrate all the other holidays! Fuck you, man! you have your traditions and I have mine!

But then I thought I should try something new. So I will celebrate Earth Day by not consuming much sunlight, staying indoors and breathing shallowly as to conserve oxygen. Basically I will attempt to remain in a coma for Earth Day.

Yeah. I know, it’s a lot to give, and a lot to ask. But I will ask. I will ask each of you to go take a nap. For the planet!

Not for Captain Planet:

That guy is just odd. Fuck that guy. Captain Planet? Yeah I’m General Galaxy and I say shut the fuck up and get back to work. Dickhead.

In conclusion: TAKE A NAP! THE PLANET NEEDS YOUR HELP!

All right then…

• The Pope is in town.
• New York ComicCon is starting.
• It’s Passover.

All that adds up to the feeling that there could be some kinda… religeek rumble downtown. West Side Story on an epic scale! The Pope, all going down the Popecave and getting in the Popemobile to chase down the Jewster and put him back in jail! Commissioner Geek lighting up the Popesignal and wishing he knew the touch of a woman! Thousands of people, standing in line, clutching their hopes and dreams to their sweat leaking chests as they wait for a glimpse of a Stormtrooper, who secretly works for the Vatican! Dogs and cats, living together!

Start the BBQ, paw. We got us a floor show.