(via The Consumerist) I just wanted to point something out that is not very publicized yet. On June 29th, the FAA will switch to a different filing method for flights in the USA. They are switching to what is called and “ICAO Flight Plan”, which is the international standard that the rest of the world uses. This is like going from standard to metric for the aviation world.

Because so many airlines and FAA computers are old and talk to so many agencies, there is a strong chance that something will go wrong. At the large airline I work at, some are calling it “D-Day”, since it is a cold-turkey switch. We are talking about a brand-new way for ALL airlines to file domestic flight plans, and they are all doing it for the first time on June 29th.
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Here is the FAA page regarding this.

I can’t think this will be much more fucked up than airtravel has been recently, but hey you never know.

(via NYTimes) Steady work has been scarce for actors in gorilla suits since “The Electric Company” went dark in 1977.

But all that changes this week as shooting begins in Washington Heights and the Lower East Side on an ambitious reboot of the PBS literacy series that turned on a generation of schoolchildren to the rudiments of reading. The first graduates of “Sesame Street” found in “The Electric Company” a companion piece that relied on pun-filled sketches, Spider-Man cameos, and lots of primate shtick, all backed by a Motown beat.

Refitted for the age of hip-hop and informed by decades of further educational research on reading, the 2009 version of “The Electric Company” is a weekly, more danceable version of its former daily self. The series, which is expected to make its debut in January, faces challenges the original never did (trying to stand out amid so much children’s programming and to shake the stigma of educational television) as well as familiar ones (trying to make reading a positive experience for youngsters).

“It’s the old one mixed with ‘High School Musical’ and a Dr Pepper commercial,” said Linda Simensky, senior director of programming for PBS Kids, a block of children’s shows that will include “The Electricity Company.” There’s a touch of “Fame” to it, given its cast of culturally diverse city kids who sing and dance, as well as nods to the original series. (A cameo has been offered to Rita Moreno, a regular on the original “Electric Company,” remembered for her show-opening exultation, “Hey, you guyyyyys!”)

Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit media corporation formerly known as the Children’s Television Workshop, will once again produce. As before, when the show began in 1971, it is still directed at viewers 6 to 9 years old.

In keeping with the original show’s ties to theater (many in the cast, like Morgan Freeman, had stage backgrounds), the new head writer is a Tony-Award-nominated playwright and lyricist, Willie Reale, with experience in children’s theater (“A Year With Frog and Toad”).

In the first episode Mr. Reale establishes the show’s conceit: Somewhere in the big city lies a natural-foods diner that is headquarters to a not-so-secret society known as the Electric Company. The four semi-superheroes who meet there — Keith, Jessica, Lisa and Hector — have pledged not only to use their powers for good but also to eat sensible portions of healthy meals. The gang ranges in age from 13 to 20 and can scramble, recall, project and animate words in astounding ways.

Plotting nefariously is a clutch of comical misfits and poseurs known as the Pranksters. “They’re villains without being villainous,” said Scott Cameron, the show’s research director, “just neighborhood kids who cause chaos.”

The Sesame Workshop hopes to raise $25 million for the project, $17.7 million of which has been provided by the Corporation for Public Broadcasting through the federal Department of Education. Twenty low-income, low-literacy pockets across the country will also be the focus of an extensive outreach program in the months leading to the show’s premiere.

“There will be billboards, bus ads, notices in their dollar stores, television and radio ads, all about the power of reading,” Randell M. Bynum, who is coordinating the outreach, said. “When the show comes on in January, these communities will have already been primed to the importance of reading and bombarded with resources.”

Ms. Bynum, along with the production team and cast members, has been testing strategies at P.S. 188 on Houston Street in the Lower East Side. A group of that school’s students in first through fourth grades recently screened a 30-minute demonstration of the series, which included a music-video tribute to the transformational power of the silent E, the sneaky letter that can turn cap into cape and at into ate.

Music for the series will come from three people involved in the Broadway rap-salsa-pop musical “In the Heights”: the director Thomas Kail, the co-arranger and orchestrator Bill Sherman and the actor Christopher Jackson.

In a category by himself is the beat-box artist Shockwave (Chris Sullivan). Besides slinging hash at the Electric Diner, he speaks in one-word bursts only — no sentences — and appears in guises like the much missed gorilla and a butcher who cleaves words. But it is his D.J. routine that may be mimicked on playgrounds next year. He appears to be scratching syllables from dueling turntables to form words. It all emanates from his “bruh-bruh-AIN, bruh-bruh-AIN, brain.”

(More at at the link)

(via Reuters)
SYDNEY (Reuters) - Pope Benedict will text message thousands of young Catholics on their mobile phones during World Youth Day in Sydney in July, hoping going digital will help him connect better with a younger audience.

The Pope will text daily messages of inspiration and hope during the six-day Sydney event while digital prayer walls will be erected at event sites and the church will set up a Catholic social networking Web site akin to a Catholic Facebook.

The Catholic Church said it decided to use technology to connect to the estimated 225,000 young Catholics expected to attend the World Youth Day (WYD) celebrations that start on July 15.
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The Pope is going to send txt msgs to the faithful? Like what?

Wtr 2 wine! N00b!

I mean shit, does the Pope get good signal everywhere? I bet he does. I bet he does.

Also “akin to a Catholic Facebook” is a great concept. Think about Facebook for a second, think of how it is used and all the apps you use. Now make Catholic versions of them. And … laugh. Because “Catholic Facebook” is like “Cinemax Original Movie” - you know they’re both cheap bad softcore porn. Except the Catholics don’t do softcore. To be fair. When they do porn they go for the full-on, hardcore, “don’t let the sheep watch” porn.

The kinda stuff you don’t admit to owning, and then have to purge because you run out of space on your hard drive. You know the stuff. That’s a Catholic Facebook.

Actually a “Catholic Facebook” is when you bukkake a nun and then slap her with a Bible. But you didn’t hear it from me. Ahhh, those were the days.

So anyway! Pope Evil is going to send text messages. He will also lead the crowd in a House of Pain style Heyyyyy Hoooooo chant:

I hear tell that he will then partake of a Mango/Strawberry/Banana/Coconut Smoothie and go to watch Home Improvement reruns. The Pope does so love that wacky Tim Allen.

So last summer, August 2007, we kinda, sorta, maybe, almost coulda nuked ourselves. No, really. Way to go Team U.S.A.!

(Via Military.com):

…on Aug. 31, 2007, when crews loaded six live nuclear warheads onto a B-52 bomber and flew from Minot Air Force Base in North Dakota to Barksdale Air Force Base in Louisiana, cruising over the nation’s heartland. Each warhead was 10 times more powerful than the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki during World War II.

During the analysis of the incident by the Defense Science Board (DSB), released this month, the ugly truth came out: America’s nukes are so neglected that they are stored alongside conventional missiles, with nothing but an 8.5 x 11-in. sheet of paper to differentiate the two. The last day in August, Air Force personnel loaded the nuclear warheads on a routine repositioning of weapons stocks, believing them to be cruise missiles.

The system of checks and balances has degraded to a point that six of the planet’s most powerful weapons were missing for 36 hours — and no one noticed until they had landed in Louisiana. “The process and systemic problems that allowed such an incident have developed over more than a decade and have the potential for much more serious consequences,” the report warns.

So all right. There was a slight error. We loaded some nuclear warheads onto a plane flying over our own country. Six of them. Now, shit happens. I mean, no one is perfect right?

No! No, if you are dealing with nukes you damn well better be closer to perfect than this! Bottom fucking line! And to think, the big sign? A piece of printer paper. Way to go Air Force!

So let’s get this straight, we store nukes in easily accessible places, next to conventional missiles cause we’re just that dumb. I mean, seriously! How stupid do you have to be to be careless with nukes?

The staff at Minot Air Field had neglected to follow procedure for the sake of saving time. The verification of weapons — what kind, what warheads they carry, their armament status — should take about 45 minutes, and be performed before anything else happens.

“But, over time, to speed the process, breakout and convoy crews had established a process of concurrent activity,” the report states. “In this case, the breakout and convoy crew [at Minot] were connecting the trailer to the tow vehicle while the initial status verification was under way.” The checks had become pro forma, and a near disaster slipped through.
…

The task force noted that members “could find no written directive that specifically described the required identifying means [to tell an inert missile from one with a live warhead].” Also, there is only one checklist for verifying the various kinds of missiles that can be loaded onto a B-52 — live, inert, training and test devices. Nukes are treated the same as disarmed missiles when it comes to verifying armament.

Well, fuck a doodle-do. Ok, so this great sign must have not been to good. I mean that is what this comes down to, right? We don’t really care that the Air Force keeps the nukes on the same shelf as the normal missiles, the cheese in a can and the paper party hats, right? That’s to be expected. These are people who deal with nuclear missiles all the time, so what if they leave them out?

Wait, why are the nukes out? Shouldn’t there have to be some big fucking special room with multiple guys standing around getting calls on red phones just to load these fuckers? Ah well. That shit won’t change. I still say the sign is key. To that end I have created a new sign for them to hang between the missile bays that may help some:. Military dudes! If you’re reading this feel free to print this out and hang it near nukes and shit!

(via Scott, via CBSNews) Three years ago, Lee Spievack sliced off the tip of his finger in the propeller of a hobby shop airplane.

What happened next, Andrews reports, propelled him into the future of medicine. Spievack’s brother, Alan, a medical research scientist, sent him a special powder and told him to sprinkle it on the wound.

“I powdered it on until it was covered,” Spievack recalled.

To his astonishment, every bit of his fingertip grew back.

“Your finger grew back,” Andrews asked Spievack, “flesh, blood, vessels and nail?”

“Four weeks,” he answered.

There is more at the link. It is an interesting story, these guys developing a possible way to regrow limbs and all. I mean that sounds like a smooth plan right.

Right, Doctor Conners?

Oh, sorry, you’re the Lizard now, right, I forgot! And how did that happen? Oh I almost forgot! Curt Conners came up with a formula to regrow his arm. And instead? Turned into the Lizard.

Now, I’m not saying this possible amazing medical breakthrough will result in supervillany… I’m just… ok I am saying that. When people turn into lizard-men and start eating your faces off don’t come crying to me! Fuck, people, learn from the lessons of Spider-Man, will you?

* Don’t ignore crooks just because you’re a wrestler.
* Wheatcakes are tastier than they sound.
* Living with your aunt until you’re thirty makes perfect social and financial sense.
* Science will fuck you up for life.
* If your best friend’s father is out to kill you, eventually your best friend will turn on you and then die.
* Before he does though, he’ll totally steal your girl.
* Who is probably going to die.
* And why will she die? Because science will fuck her up for life.
* Dune buggies are never the answer.
* Guilt and bouts of emo sorrow make you a better person.
* Stay the fuck away from radioactive animals.
* And then some.

So, come on: is this medical breakthrough or the start of a long slide towards Man-Bats and Lizard-men? YOU MAKE THE CALL!

(via Xtina via USAToday): A 78-year-old German woman went into the hospital last month to have surgery on her leg. Because of a mixup, Frankenpost reports that she left the Hochfranken-Klinik in Münchberg, Germany, with an artificial anus.
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There is more at the link. There is more story, sure. Whatever. Does it matter? That line above says it all.

They mixed up her ass and her leg. Ass to elbow seems simpler now, huh? I also maintain Artifical Anus was an industrial band in the 90s. I also still want an artifical anus of my own, in a jar. So when I meet people I can tell them that is is just a fake asshole, but they’re the real deal.

(via Ariana, via The Sun) ‘Creepy Gnome’ terrorizes town.

A TOWN in South America is living in fear after several sightings of a ‘creepy gnome’ that locals claim stalks the streets at night.

The midget - which wears a pointy hat and has a distinctive sideways walk - was caught on video last week by a terrified group of youngsters.

Teenager Jose Alvarez - who filmed the gnome - yesterday told national newspaper El Tribuno that they caught the creature while larking about in their hometown of General Guemes, in the province of Salta, Argentina.

He said: “We were chatting about our last fishing trip. It was one in the morning. I began to film a bit with my mobile phone while the others were chatting and joking. Suddenly we heard something - a weird noise as if someone was throwing stones. We looked to one side and saw that the grass was moving. To begin with we thought it was a dog but when we saw this gnome-like figure begin to emerge we were really afraid.”

Jose added that other locals had come forward to say they had spotted the gnome.

He said: “This is no joke. We are still afraid to go out - just like everyone else in the neighbourhood now. One of my friends was so scared after seeing that thing that we had to take him to the hospital.”
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At the link (and here it is again for you) they have not only a picture? But also VIDEO! Yes, glorious video of the midget in a pointy hat, shuffling in the dark.

GNOME ALERT! GNOME ALERT! GNOME ALERT!

GNOME ALERT! GNOME ALERT! GNOME ALERT!

Direct quote time. From an answer to a question during a press conference:

And I thank you for wading in. There’s a lot of legal complexities on the FISA renewal debate, but the real issue comes down to this: To defend the country, we need to be able to monitor communications of terrorists quickly and be able to do it effectively.

And we can’t do it without the cooperation of private companies. Unfortunately, some of the private companies have been sued for billions of dollars because they are believed to have helped defend America after the attacks on 9/11. Now the question is, should these lawsuits be allowed to proceed, or should any company that may have helped save American lives be thanked for performing a patriotic service; should those who stepped forward to say we’re going to help defend America have to go to the courthouse to defend themselves, or should the Congress and the President say thank you for doing your patriotic duty? I believe we ought to say thank you.

Thank you, Mister President. So instead of suing those people who break the law we should thank them? We should thank them for caving to your intrusive mishandling of the American trust and pandering to illegal requests out of fear?

Who do we thank for the fact that the only reason illegal wire taps were used was because the idiots in charge didn’t feel like filling out the paperwork. Seriously, that’s the only reason. They didn’t want to be bothered to fill out paperwork that would have gotten them what they want. So instead they broke the law.

Let’s thank them for that.

then let’s thank the assholes in the Telcom world for caving and going “Yes, Massa” to the Gov and forking over whatever was wanted - for no reason.

Yeah. Real fucking thankful.

(via Variety) “The strike is over,” Patric Verrone said, dispassionately but with the hint of a smile. “Our membership has voted. Writers can go back to work.”

The WGA West prexy announced the news, something the town had taken as a fait accompli, shortly before 7 p.m. Tuesday at the Writers Guild Theater in Beverly Hills. Some 92.5% of the 3,775 ballots cast were in favor of ending the 100-day strike, with 3,492 members voting yes and 283 die-hards ready to tilt at the windmill of continuing the work stoppage that began Nov. 5.

The vote on lifting the strike concluded a mere three days after the WGA cinched its contract agreement with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers in the wee hours of a Saturday morning. The strike vote was held over a 48-hour frame, with members able to vote in person at the WGA Theater and at Gotham’s Crowne Plaza Hotel, or via fax.

After announcing the vote tally, Verrone said WGA members were free to go back to work “immediately,” and he noted that writers for the Feb. 24 Oscar ceremony were believed to be doing just that on Tuesday night. Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences prexy Sid Ganis and Oscarcast exec producer Gil Cates will hold a news conference Thursday morning to discuss their plans for the show now that the cloud of picket lines and stars staying home has lifted.

( via BBC News)

A pair of twins who were adopted by separate families as babies got married without knowing they were brother and sister, a peer told the House of Lords.

A court annulled the British couple’s union after they discovered their true relationship, Lord Alton said.

The peer - who was told of the case by a High Court judge involved - said the twins felt an “inevitable attraction”.

Woops! Of course one does have to wonder why the British court suddenly has a problem with incest. I mean have you seen the Royal family?

But it gets better. Or worse.

“If you start trying to conceal someone’s identity, sooner or later the truth will out,” he (Lord Alton) said.

“And if you don’t know you are biologically related to someone, you may become attracted to them and tragedies like this may occur.”

Wow, all right. So. Uhm. If you don’t wear a name tag, you could fuck your cousin? Is that it? I mean, really now.

Though it does remind me of that time Danny DeVito fucked Arnold Schwarzenegger.