Ed, on his Birthday Surprise Vacation, would like to know something:

Just found a pic of a great gag toy for kids of all ages. No. Really. Not rascist at all. Nope. Nuh uh.

Best part? “Made in Hong Kong”.

I decided I needed zome Zod Motivation, so I made us all one. To share. To love. The way Zod loves us.

First it was the pitch-perfect Bruce Campbell commercial, and now Old Spice has gotten Neil Patrick Harris to do a great ad for them. Have at it:

Decent Dark Knight spoof trailer. Not the funniest thing ever but cute.

A is for Apple, eaten by your Mom.

B is for Bear, your mom is meaner.

C is for candy, you mom bogarts it.

D is for douche, what your mom should do.

E is for easy, yeah you know, like your mom.

F is for fuck, what sailors do to your mom.

G is for great, something your mom ain’t!

H is for herpes, great, something else about mom.

I is for Internal Combustion Engine, it smells like your mom.

J is for justice, there is none, your mom is around.

K is for kindness. It’s a kindness to not think about your mom.

L is for love. You love your mom. You LOVE her, if you follow. And by “love” we mean “fuck.”

M is for MOM, as in yours. Yes, specifically yours.

N is for nude, something we hope your mom isn’t.

O is for orangutan. Yep, we’re saying your mom looks like one.

P is for paid, something your mom ain’t.

Q is for quickly, like “hurry up, whore,” which your mom hears a lot.

R is for reststop, your moms big dating arena.

S is for SEE? YOUR MOM IS SO FAT!

T is for tequila. Not even drinking the worm makes your mom better.

U is for Uganda. Not even they want your mom.

V is for Venitian. As in blind. Which I am after seeing your mom.

W is for whore. Big fat whore. You know who. Not your dad. No.

X is for xylophone. We like them. Nothing insulting here. Xylophone’s are wicked cool.

Y is for yield. Yield to the fugly power of your mom!

Z is for “Zis is vere even ze Nazis zink your mom is fucked up.”

Ever seen a bear work a pole like a stripper? Wanna?

George Carlin dies at the age of 71 of heart problems. He had just won the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. Carlin was a comedian of… oh fuck this. You know who he was.

You know:

He’ll be missed.

I don’t know what they’re singing to. I don’t know what music was on when they did this. I don’t care. I don’t care at all. And neither will you.

Now edited to add the full video with sound and so on!

Inspired by Jude.