And one day there came to be a rising sun unlike any other. The Lords of the Sky saw this day break and smiled, considering breakfast. The ordered the freshest foods, along with juices and strong brews, and sat back contently. Kirkbride the True nodded toward the Earth below.
“I declare this land to be a fine example of how wonderful we are,” he told the other Lords of the Sky.
“I agree,” said The Grovemiller, wise overseer of the Lords, “we did fine work.”
“But what of the mortals?” Vrax the Kicking asked, growing puzzled. “Should we not do more for them?”
“I will show you what more I can do for them!” Kirkbride laughed. He rose and grabbed up part of his breakfast, clutching it in his mighty fist. Taking a huge bite of the breakfast burrito that he held, Kirkbride leapt off the platform of the Lords of the Sky and thundered down to the grassy lands below. As he landed, Kirkbride draw his sword and whispered the words of binding.
A blinding light flashed. Heat scortched the Earth for miles around. Villagers burned before the raw energy unleashed. As the spiraling forces fading Kirkbride held aloft the Burrito Blade of the Morning - a weapon so powerful, so feared and so damned delicious that all cowered before it.
“Now with this bad boy I think I can get me some chicas,” Kirkbride laughed and strode off to do as he would to the village.
The Grovemiller saw Kirkbride’s actions and sighed, shaking his head. “You see, Adam, there he goes, having to prove he isn’t a girl.”
Adam the Knave nodded, not bothering to look up from his keyboard, “So have Vrax go kick his ass or something,” he said, returning to his deep involvement in writing Point Break fan fiction.
Vrax the Kicking leapt up from his chair and clapped his hands with excitement. “I do like kicking,” he agreed and ran off toward the kitchen. When he returned he carried his sword and a foil wrapped package.
“Don’t wait up!” Vrax cried as he stepped off the edge of the platform of the Lords of the Sky.
The Grovemiller turned towards Adam the Knave and sighed. “This won’t end well,” he intoned wisely, as was his way.
“You’re telling me,” Adam said, without looking up, “Johnny Utah is in trouble this time.”
Feet landing lithely on the ground, Vrax unwrapped the foil package in his hand and thrust his sword into the still soft and warm end of it. Light and heat and power erupted, calling down lightning and hail. Holding his new weapon aloft Vrax screamed to the sky, “The Burrito Blade of the Night is forged! All shall know now beef filled fear!”
All day and all night Vrax the Kicking stalked Kirkbride the True. But what neither of them knew was that the Burrito Blades concealed their wielders from each other, each blade invisible to its other half. For the Burrito Blades themselves knew more than was guessed about their true nature…
To be continued… sometime…
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