You know those two quick bits of advice you got as a child:

Stop. Drop. And Roll.

and

Say no. Then go. And tell someone you trust.

I always get them twisted up. Pretty much always. Every time I try to remember what to do when I am either:

A) On fire

or

B) Being molested

I end up with Stop. Drop. And tell someone you trust. Which doesn’t help pretty much at all. I mean in case of fire I end up on the ground and all, fine, but then I’m looking for someone to trust. And there’s just smoke and fire and … well. Then death. In the other realm, well, the whole thing already sounds too kinkily Catholic for my tastes, and it won’t get better, you know?

Stop. Drop. And tell someone you trust.

It doesn’t work. It won’t save you. Don’t do it.

On the other hand, my new technique of Duck and drug is working out pretty well. Just say Cover, though, needs works.