You know those two quick bits of advice you got as a child:

Stop. Drop. And Roll.

and

Say no. Then go. And tell someone you trust.

I always get them twisted up. Pretty much always. Every time I try to remember what to do when I am either:

A) On fire

or

B) Being molested

I end up with Stop. Drop. And tell someone you trust. Which doesn’t help pretty much at all. I mean in case of fire I end up on the ground and all, fine, but then I’m looking for someone to trust. And there’s just smoke and fire and … well. Then death. In the other realm, well, the whole thing already sounds too kinkily Catholic for my tastes, and it won’t get better, you know?

Stop. Drop. And tell someone you trust.

It doesn’t work. It won’t save you. Don’t do it.

On the other hand, my new technique of Duck and drug is working out pretty well. Just say Cover, though, needs works.

Some Japanese game show stuff for you today.

My cat can not lie down. I mean, she can obviously lie down, but she won’t just … lie down. She flops. She throws herself down with fury and gusto 99% of the time. It isn’t just reclining, it’s a fucking mission.

She’ll be against my leg, curled up and asleep. Then she’s stand up halfway and think about getting some food. Nope. She’ll turn around some and throw herself against my leg with all her tiny furry might.

“You go,” I’ll often tell her, “you teach that gravity that it can’t pull you, you’re gonna beat it down! 9.8 meters per second squared has nothing on you!” I don’t mind being a bit of a cheerleader for the cat.

Last night, after a few throw downs (the world is her personal WWF ring) she charged up the bed and head butted me. In the face. She enjoys that move. But what she wasn’t expecting was my retaliation.

See she has a thing about someone resting their hand on her butt. Just lay your hand, no pressure, just rest it there, on her butt, right in front of her tail. She’ll look confused for a second, then stop, the glance back, and then throw herself down and demand you rub her tummy. She gets very confused when that all happens.

So she ended up curled against my chest, while I laid on my side, and I fell back asleep.

Until she decided to kind turn, which necessitated her throwing herself back down with force. Against my chest.

I grabbed her ear in my mouth in frustration. She huffed and started to walk away. I put my hand on her butt. She flopped back down. We both ended up going back to sleep.

Welcome to 4am at my house.

Congratz to D.J. Kirkbride! He was a part of POPGUN: Volume One from Image Comics, contributing an 8 page story, SOULLESS: Man Without A Soul. Drawn by Anjin Anhut, the two of them knocked this one out of the park.

The other night, POPGUN: Volume One won the Harvey Award for Best Anthology.

The noms were as follows:
Flight Volume 4, edited by Kazu Kibuishi, Ballantine Books
Mome Volume 8, edited by Gary Groth and Eric Reynolds, Fantagraphics Books
Popgun Volume 1, edited by Joe Keatinge and Mark Andrew Smith, Image Books WINNER
Postcards: True Stories That Never Happened, edited by Jason Rodriquez, Villard
Walt Disney’s Comics and Stories, edited by John Clark, Gemstone

So congratulations to a great friend and writer for being involved with such a wonderful, AWARD WINNING, project! Congratulations to Anjin! Congratulations to all the contributors that made this book something truly special! And, of course, congratulations to Mark Andrew Smith and Joe Keatinge for coming up with the whole shebang in the first place!

Give ‘em a round of applause!

But clap extra loud for Kirkbride cause he’s mah hero: Ferris Bueller.

I taught myself to be able to dry swallow pills all sorts of shapes and sizes for one reason. When I put a pill in my mouth and take a drink I am always convinced the pill will somehow end up in what I’m drinking, instead of being swallowed, and I won’t notice. Then I’ll take another drink and choke on the pill.

I’m not claiming this makes sense, just putting it out there.

(via CNN) Paul Newman, the legendary actor whose steely blue eyes, good-humored charm and advocacy of worthy causes made him one of the most renowned figures in American arts, has died of cancer at his home in Westport, Connecticut. He was 83.

—————–

How many amazing films was he in? Christ, a list of my favorite films is chock full of Newman. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Sting, The Hustler, The Color of Money, Cool Hand Luke, Towering Inferno … the list is as long as my arm. Longer.

Fuck.

So I wrote a nice long colum about why you should love editors over at the footnote. For seriously. You can go read it here.

Still sick. Back at work. Sucking on cough drops to help minimize what’s left of this crud. These cough drops taste like butt. They’re “mentho-lyptus honey-lemon” That’s at least two hyphens too many for a fucking cough drop. But they’re what the store had.

They’re kinda making me make this face:

Dateline September 30th, 2008

Sure, Iron Man comes out on DVD. It does whatever an iron can. Right. But did you know that Best Buy will have an exclusive DVD release of the David Hasselhoff Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV movie. Yes, for only $22.98 you can own this masterpiece of modern TV Movie history.

You know, I actually saw this thing when it first aired. It had one funny moment. One. And uhm, that was about it. Taa-daa.