(Previously on Talking Heads…)

All right, man, let’s get you ready.

Ready for what?

You need training, guidence, respect. I will give you all of that - and far, far more.

Wow, ok, what do I need to do?

Take off your shirt.

Uhm. What?

Look, it’s like your training now. Wax on, wax off, right? Well it’s time for chest waxing!

Ow. No.

Look kid, if you want to be an acclaimed international star …

In Germany.

Go away.

Just saying.

If you want to be an acclaimed international star you have to look the part. That means no hair on your chest.

Oh, Hoff. This boy doesn’t have hair anywhere except his head, do you kid?

I don’t know what you…

Seriously. If he has any body hair at all I’ll… I’ll… shit I don’t know.

You’ll go out on a date with me!

Fuck no. But I’ll flash you.

YEAH! Wait.

What?

You mean “show me your tits,” not “blind me with a burst of laser light,” right?

Uhm. Shit. So if you win then I’ll…

Don’t I have a say? I mean this sounds kinda embaressing for me and I’m not sure that I want…

Hey. Kid. Hey! Shut up. I’m making a fool of Hoff here. So, if we gotta mess with you for that, then we do. You’ll get over it. Paint a fence or something, right?

Hey!

If I win you show me some respect! You respect me from now on!

All right, I’ll show you my tits.

Score!

All right kid, off with it.

no?

Look, kid, it isn’t like we care. Well, I don’t care. Hoff might have… hey wait, what if I win?

Uhhh, but you won’t?

Yeah. I win and I… I don’t want anything. I mean, not from you. Shit.

If you win I’ll take you out on a date.

God no. Ok, if I win then I’ll take the kid and get him trained, instead of you, with no arguments or whining.

I really should get a say in this…

It’s a deal!

Right. Ok kid, off with it all. Let’s find the body hair.

I don…. ow! You burned off all my clothes!

You were slow. Also? I win.

That’s imposs… wow kid, it’s like two Robin’s eggs down there. Do you shave?

N-no…

Oh don’t cry. Jesus. Come on, kid. We’ll get you trained up right.

Can I get some pants?

No.

TO BE CONTINUED!