(via Reuters)
SYDNEY (Reuters) - Pope Benedict will text message thousands of young Catholics on their mobile phones during World Youth Day in Sydney in July, hoping going digital will help him connect better with a younger audience.

The Pope will text daily messages of inspiration and hope during the six-day Sydney event while digital prayer walls will be erected at event sites and the church will set up a Catholic social networking Web site akin to a Catholic Facebook.

The Catholic Church said it decided to use technology to connect to the estimated 225,000 young Catholics expected to attend the World Youth Day (WYD) celebrations that start on July 15.
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The Pope is going to send txt msgs to the faithful? Like what?

Wtr 2 wine! N00b!

I mean shit, does the Pope get good signal everywhere? I bet he does. I bet he does.

Also “akin to a Catholic Facebook” is a great concept. Think about Facebook for a second, think of how it is used and all the apps you use. Now make Catholic versions of them. And … laugh. Because “Catholic Facebook” is like “Cinemax Original Movie” - you know they’re both cheap bad softcore porn. Except the Catholics don’t do softcore. To be fair. When they do porn they go for the full-on, hardcore, “don’t let the sheep watch” porn.

The kinda stuff you don’t admit to owning, and then have to purge because you run out of space on your hard drive. You know the stuff. That’s a Catholic Facebook.

Actually a “Catholic Facebook” is when you bukkake a nun and then slap her with a Bible. But you didn’t hear it from me. Ahhh, those were the days.

So anyway! Pope Evil is going to send text messages. He will also lead the crowd in a House of Pain style Heyyyyy Hoooooo chant:

I hear tell that he will then partake of a Mango/Strawberry/Banana/Coconut Smoothie and go to watch Home Improvement reruns. The Pope does so love that wacky Tim Allen.