I need to contact the spirit world, quickly!

Mr. T gets boys out of comas! He doesn’t do magic!

Just be a medium, you have the power, T!

All right, all right, cut the jibba jabba! T will help you.

Thanks!

Spirits of the old, I pity you! I pity you and call yo’ forth!

What? Oh for… what do you want this time?

Mister Miyagi! You have to help me!

No I don’t kid. And I keep telling you, I’m Pat Morita. Now stop bothering my spirit, will you?

But mean kids are bothering me and I need to learn how to respect myself, channel my inner peace and manage to defeat them without anger, but only kick-ass karate skills!

Try Tiger Schulman’s, you useless wimp. How many movies did we go through this in? Three? Four? Whatever, it was three or four too many.

Nooooo! Mister Miyagi! I need you to help me! I just don’t understand!

Fucking hell. Fine. Go… paint… something. A fence. The Great Wall of China! Go paint it white. Both sides, up and down, wrist to wrist, long stroke short stroke. When you finish that come see me again.

You got it, Mister Miyagi! I’m off to paint the Great Wall of China!

That kid will never learn, will he?

I pity the Chinese jail he ends up in.

Wax on, wax off will have a whole new meaning!

HAHAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Well, I should stop channeling ghosts and go save the world.

You need a team of gymnasts. Maybe a dog. A dog with a mohawk!

I like this plan. I like it a lot, foo’!