Steven, Steven, Steven. Why are we here? Are you asking yourself that just now, or have you already worked it out? I mean it could be the whole guitar thing you have going on. It may be. I admit I don’t get it. Sure, all right, we all love to shred. We all do. But must you look offstage so often with this look of “Hey, lookit me, I’m shredding!” that just makes us all want to pop your pear head with a pin? Must you? And then that shirt. I saw that shirt, in Chinatown. Women’s XL, I’m guessing, on you. Not only is it a brave step toward a new film Steven Segal’s MUMU, but it really doesn’t go with jeans. Plus the vest/shirt thing? It’s like you want to throw so many things at me I can’t pick what to laugh at. Maybe that’s your plan. If so, well played Segal. Well played.