Crazy Little Thing: Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 are up. And now for last night…
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Last night being a holiday that I had to work and Hammerpants didn’t we met up early. This threw my normal pattern off and so I forgot to go buy the coffee for the night.
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Everyone was in an odd mood last night. M was in a great mood and I was totally goofy. Hammerpants was extra forgetful. It was a thing.

The bar started off so empty it hurt and then, in a flash, it filled up. Invisible stampede? Kinda. Now, see the end of the bar we sit at is where the lime slicing is done, it’s also where M and her waitress eat. The other end of the bar is the waitress station so it’s generally for work, not eating.

Next to where I sit there are two seats. these are normally empty for a few hours, and so M and her waitress will eat and we’ll all chat, etc. Last night food took a long time so… this couple came in and asked me if those seats were taken.

I couldn’t say yes. But then I realized that there were magazines and tea bags on the bar in front of them. So I cleaned up and put everything in front of me till M could grab it. Hammerpants eyes me and smirks. “You’re such a good employee.” Yes, yes I am.
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It was gorgeous out for the early evening. Drizzle raining but also the most perfect temperature. So the door was blocked open and trucks could go past, down the block, and idle at a light and make the front of the bar smell like a small rubber fire.

Incense was applied. We defeated the trucks.
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I was goofy, see. Not drunk, just goofy. So when a discussion with Hammerpants turned into talk of Godzilla (vs. 300 tigers!) I did a Godzilla face. No pictures, but he wanted me to draw it in MSPaint. I think I’ll just describe it.

The Godzilla Face: Start by compressing the mouth, and half frowning. A frustrated pouting frown. Lower the eyebrows and try to look like you’re annoyed, and roughly seven years old. Better yet you want to look like you know you’re looking stupid. Then you take your hands. Fold your pinky and thumb under and splay your other three fingers. Use them like toes. Tiny Godzilla feet. Stomp them on the nearest surface. While you stomp, left/right/left/right, bobble your head left/right/left/right in time with your stomping Godzilla feet.

That, my friends, is the Godzilla face.

So I keep randomly doing the Godzilla face and Hammerpants can’t stop laughing and finally M comes by and looks a bit curious. So I tell her “Oh, just doing Godzilla face.” And she raises an eyebrow. “I’m not drunk, you know I haven’t had enough to even be drunk yet, I’m just goofy today.”

“Too much sugar?”

“Possibly! I think, yes, maybe.”

“Yeah I can get like that if I have… any sugar.”

“Totally, but forget Godzilla face.”

“Would it be better if you were drunk?” she asked, moving down the bar to keep working.

Now, at this point she was a 1/4 of the way down the bar, the band is playing and people are talking. I realize quickly that the only way to be heard is to speak up. “You can’t improve upon Godzilla face,” I fairly shout, “I mean, come on!”

I have decided that the look a few people along the bar shot me, their smirks, were meant as “You tell her, we all know you can’t improve Godzilla face,” instead of “you poor drunk bastard.” The thing of it was? I honestly wasn’t even close to drunk. Just goofy.
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Godzilla (vs. 300 tigers!) gave way to chickens. See, in Godzilla 1985 they established Godzilla was originally a bird. In my head, telling this to Hammerpants, I decided he was a chicken. “But that’s not right because he lived in the ocean. So he was a … sea chicken?”

Well. Sea Chickens (not to be confused with Chicken of the Sea) lead to the creation of:

The Chickapod - Chicken upper body, but with tentacles instead of legs! It patrols the sea.

The Octochick - Octopus with eight chicken bodies attached to it, instead of tentacles. The chickens all start at the neck.

Mighty creatures both! M kept shaking her head. I don’t think she really wanted to know us, just then. Did I mention we were goofy?
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Remember when I mentioned at the start I forgot the coffee? This came back to haunt. It turns out the boss forgot to buy coffee for the bar too. So there was literally NO COFFEE. M gave me some cash and sent me to the deli. Yes. As Hammerpants remarked again, I am a good employee.

So I get a can of coffee and the guy takes the money and reaches for a bag.

“No thanks, I’ll eat it now,” I tell him and walk out.
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It got colder all night, quickly. Eventually M comes up to me and smirks. “Could you close the door?” she asks and wanders away. Of course I can. I am, after all, a good employee.

I swear, I don’t work there. This is just how I behave in my regular bars. I might as well work at them. I like being helpful. I don’t get people who are regulars somewhere and don’t do this sort of thing.
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Woman came in, friend of M’s, on crutches. When asked what happened she had the best description of an accident I have ever heard.

“I fell through a door,” she said and everyone looked at her, “It was, like, a cartoon door.” And then we all laughed and nodded. That’s how you break your leg. You fall through cartoon doors. It makes sense.
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We made to leave and M marches over. “Did I say you could leave? Did you ASK?”

“Uhh… Nope!” I said cheerfully.

“Well you can’t.”

“Oh ok, so see you next week?”

“Barring any unforeseen accidents and such, yeah.”

And then I turned to the door. And almost grabbed some woman’s face. She was kind short, I didn’t see her in the then-open doorway and though I was blindly reaching for the door handle. I avoided face-palming her. Woops. Anyway. We got out alive. And then we went to our respective dwellings.