Adrienne Jones and Adam P. Knave present ASTROLOGY LESSONS!

The alignment of the stars and planets can tell you many things about your life. It can reveal your path through your hopes to your dreams and when you should duck under the bridge of despair, leap across the pond of mope and arrive safely at Grandmother’s House of Joy and Cookies.

So let’s take a look at what the stars have to say about TODAY!

Jupiter is in the house Atreides: When Jupiter is in the house of Atreides it is advised that beach goers rethink their excursions. Avoid long stretches under the sun and beware your kin.

Mercury is in retrograde around the Galactica: In times such as these you must examine your life carefully. Do you have a twin? Perhaps one you don’t know about? Maybe even more than one? These are things you should focus on working out. Learn who you really are and be prepared to take decisive action.

There’s a Klingon battle cruiser entering the Neutral Zone: Really, nothing you can do about this. You’re pretty much screwed.