Mornin’, Bill.

‘Sup, Feldawg?

Not much. I was just thinking…

About?

You know…

Not…

Yep!

But how will you get your ass into the rocket ship if it’s only big enough for a dog, and where will you get air tanks from?

… I … Okay, see I was thinking that I should do a cop show sometime. I only played a cop once, really briefly.

Oh.

Yeah, not about rocket ships and… the size of dogs… and… Bill what the hell?!

It was a guess. Leave it. So when did you play a cop?

Movie called Busted. I directed it, actually. It had Julie Strain in it.

So that means you saw Julie Strain naked, doesn’t it?

Yeah had her drop a towel in a scene right next to me. Day-um!

You’re incorrigible.

You’re jealous.

Touché. So a cop show? I can help with that!

I don’t think I want to jump on the hoods of cars, Bill.

T.J. Hooker was about more than jumping on the hoods of moving cars!

All right, such as?

… getting off the cars safely?

Right. I was thinking more of a modern, gritty TV cop drama. Like the Shield, or something.

Brother, you could not do that show. You’re too… just too…

Pretty?

Sure, let’s go with “pretty”. Why not? It isn’t you. You don’t do grim and gritty. You do black fedoras with red bands for God’s sake.

I want to stretch myself as an actor.

Is that why you’re doing a second season of Corey and Corey?

I need the mad ducats, Shat.

Don’t we all?

At least I didn’t do a World of fucking Warcraft ad!

Hey now. That was fun.

Yeah, any ad campaign that stars you, Mr. T and Vern Troyer has me doubtful regarding the veracity of the claims.

Look, I admit that I’ve never played World of War… what is it?

Craft.

Right. But I am sure it is a fine game. It is a game, right?

For some.

And they paid decently.

So anyway I need to do something new, man. New!

I know what you mean.

We could always just pool our money and make a small indie film.

Danger Feld Robinson! Danger! Do not risk your own money in this town.

Right, right.

Look, I can hook you up with the Planet of Warriors Craft people.

World of Warcraft.

Right.

And no thanks.

Your loss. I mean if you play you can be, like, anything! I play a … cloud.

You’ve never played the game and I don’t think you can be a cloud.

Oh, right, I’m a rainbow.

And I’m a unicorn. Jesus, Bill, don’t you ever pay attention to the work you do?

Always. So what powers does your unicorn have? My rainbow can kill a man at forty paces using only green.

Some days I think you might be senile. Then I realize you’re just fucking crazy.

Jealous much?

Of your Killer Rainbow? Hardly.

You think your unicorn is all that, huh?

I don’t really play a… Bill… come on.

Well. If you change your mind let me know so Roberta the Rainbow can kick your ass.

Roberta?

I’m “stretching myself as an actor”.

By playing a female rainbow?

Better than paying Julie Strain to drop trou in front of me.

No, it isn’t.

No, it isn’t.