Gah, really hectic day.

Not much to say here, but there you are. Been getting back to full speed writing and having fun with a story or two.

So instead of real thoughts, I bring you video of two giraffes fighting:

Someone made, and played, a live action Donkey Kong game…

All right so I cause sight of the new Vo5 styling product: Vo5 EXTREME Styling. The bottles are pictured below:

Now, that logo looked a bit familiar to me. I couldn’t place it … for about a second. And then it hit me! It hit me and I adjusted the original so Vo5 can use it:

Have you picked up a copy of The Dead Walk Again! yet? Tons of zombie fun, including a zombie western by me.

Of course if you aren’t into zombies (and what the hell is that about) you might like Fairy stories. So you could pick up a copy of Bad-Ass Faeries instead.

Just a suggestion.

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Then of course you can also go to Huge Crab From their FAQ: Huge Crab has taken the responsibility of the overwhelming taks of logging and captioning the internets supply of Coconut Crab and other Hugecrab. to tell the Web browsers how to display the file. Yup. Pictures of big crab.

Welcome to the best show ever: Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine! Like Japanese TV? Like humor? Fuck it, do you like anything? Then shut up and watch Episode 1, the video, and Episode 2. Then go to The Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine website!

All right, question time.

In Canada there is no paper money below a fiver. Everything lower is change: Loonies and toonies and so on.

So what do Canadians do in strip clubs?

I mean a wad of singles, here in the US is considered “stripper money”. That’s what such a wad is for. Folding and sticking in various elastic bands of various flimsy articles of clothing.

So do Canadians only reward strippers with fives and up? They can’t be shoving coins into waistbands, that would only end in issues. Do they pelt the stripper with coins? Like a stoning?

I need to know how this works!

Story here

Joe: hello
APK: nurse
Joe: no
APK: no?
Joe: no nurse
APK: damn
Joe: sorry
APK: I don’t think you are
Joe: nurse is dead
APK: !
Joe: HULK SMASH NURSE
APK: poor nurse

****LATER****

APK: Song on the radio? Has enough cowbell.
Joe: NEVER ENOUGH COWBELL
Joe: HULK SMASH COWBELL
APK: NURSE AND COWBELL SMASHED TOGETHER
APK: FOR NURSEBELL!
Joe: not mixed together!
APK: COWBLOOD and NURSES…e… no nevermind.
Joe: wow
APK: what?
Joe: just, you took that next step
APK: That’s what I do.
APK: If that means cowblood and nursesemen? THEN IT DOES.
APK: If that then leads to cow bukkake? With bells rigning? Wearing white paper hats?
APK: THEN IT DOES.
Joe: but it really doesn’t lead to that, that’s just you.
APK: And if you happen to star in NURSECOWBUKKAKE 7: UDDER
DESTRUCTION then all I can say is “Close your eyes and hold your breath”
Joe: that’s all you

Hey boys and girls, today we’re going to talk about safety!

That’s right! Safety is important! So we’re going to give you a rule and then show it to you!

So let’s review some basic safety rules, everyone!

Good idea, Jem! If someone offers you candy, don’t take it, unless you know them! Let’s see the demonstration!

Heh heh heh! Hey little girl, you want candy?

Uhhhh… I don’t know you. So no.

Come on, little girl. Have some candy.

I said no! I’m safe!

Take the candy! The kid ain’t mine! I don’t care what that Fucked Up Spice says!

JAN SMASH STUPID UNFUNNY MAN!

Arsenio! Help!

No way!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

JAN SMASH GOOD!

So kids you see how easy it is? Just refuse the candy!

And if they disagree, rip them limb from limb. The next safety rule is don’t do drugs! You should never ever do drugs! Drugs lead you down a horrible path of death and destruction and bad things! Let’s take a look!

I think I want some crack.

What? Batman! You can’t have crack!

Crickety-crack! Crack! Crack!

Batman, you have to say no to drugs. They won’t help you.

But if I’m on crack maybe I can forget how my parents were killed.

Don’t drug yourself into a stupor, use that pain to become a better man.

You mean… ?

Yup. Run around in tights and hit people.

Score!

Inspirational! Our last rule is simple one as well.

Never cross the street without looking both ways!

Right you are, Jem! Let’s go to the videotape!

Let’s go, guys!

Is it safe to cross?

Who cares? I’m Zod! Traffic can kneel!

I do not know, fleshbag. H.A.L. crossed in front of traffic once.

So?

H.A.L. used to have limbs, Zod.

OH GOD I USED TO HAVE ARMS AND LEGS! WHY DIDN’T I LOOK BOTH WAYS?!

ADVANTAGEOUS! Well that’s all the time we have for now, kids!

Remember! Follow the rules! Or else!

OH MY GOD I CAN’T FEEL THEM! WHERE ARE MY ARMS AND LEGS?!

A Friend of mine had her child pass away recently (death notice at link). If that wasn’t bad enough the kid was all of 7 months old at the time.

Now, you know I don’t ask for money for causes. Nor do I give it. I give to charity but am always wary of everything else. I choose to believe this one. You may or may not. That is your cause. However:

Due to the cost of funerals and headstones and such, they (the parents) are facing a bit of a problem. Rent. Young parents with a baby don’t always have the money to float everything. So they’re asking for help.

Understand this comes request from a person who never asks for this sort of help. It is totally on you if you want to help or not. No harm no foul, you know? I am just putting it out there because A) I believe her B) I’ve known her online for years now and C) it feels like the right thing to do.

So, if you are so inclined please paypal some cash (a buck or 5 from a 1/4 of the readers of this message would be astounding) to ts_blair22@hotmail.com and help out.

Thanks.