(via The NY Post):

With his gal pal, Nicole look-alike Christie Prody, next to him, Simpson peeled his Lexus sedan into the driveway in the late evening as Marlene Gonzalez was parking her brawny hubby’s pickup truck.

Simpson made a beeline for her, shouting, “I need to f- - -ing talk to you,” Marlene Gonzalez said.

He told her that her husband had sex with Prody earlier that day, she said.

“I told him he had to solve that problem with his girlfriend,” she said.

Janos Gonzalez, who had been inside, emerged and told Simpson to leave.

But Simpson told the lantern-jawed lothario: “Come over here. I’m going to f- - -ing kill you,” Marlene Gonzalez said.

Simpson then placed his hand behind him as if drawing a gun, she said.

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Safe bet number one: If OJ Simpson says he is going to kill you, chances are that he will, in fact, kill you. I mean, if history teaches us nothing - it teaches us that. Well, it also teaches us that if it gets red and itchy “down there” you should see a doctor.

Damn you, history!

Where was I? Right, OJ and the whole killing thing. Look, this is a man who has killed, and then did some other shit recently and here he is saying he’s gonna kill someone else and… face it. This is the man who can get away with any crime. Does some Government want to commit fantastic acts of terrorism? Hire OJ! So what if he gets caught - nothing will happen to him.

Flipping back a bit, how funny is it that OJ threatens to kill someone. You gotta figure he knows everyone will take him seriously. Because, well, he’s killed before right? So I think it goes like this:

If OJ wants a parking space but you’re in it? He’ll kill you if you don’t move your car.

If OJ needs that library book right now? He’ll kill you if you don’t give it to him and then pay the fines yourself.

What would OJ do for a Klondike bar? He’d fucking kill you.