Hey Feldawg!

What up, Bill?

So. Uhhh… Lost Boys 2? Really?

Hey man, I gotta be there for my fans! I mean come on, how many Star Trek sequels did you do? You wanna deny me this one?

Well, your track record with sequels is a bit shaky, Cory. Come on, Dream a Little Dream 2?

This is different!

How?

This is Direct to DVD! Do you realize what that means?

That it won’t even be in theatres?

What? No! It means that it is released directly to DVD while it’s in the theatres because they have such faith in it, man! Duh?

No, no, Feldawg, see it means that they know it’ll bomb and the only way it might ever make money is in the rental and oddball buying market.

That can’t be right.

It is. Direct to DVD? Shit, Feldiggity, remember the old made for HBO movies? Before Sopranos and shit? When no one would watch them? Shit like Deadlock?

I loved Deadlock.

I’m sure you did. Anyway, right now? Direct to DVD gets less respect that those did.

That can’t be right.

It’s right.

Awww man!

No, I’m sure it’ll be a good film. I mean you and Haim back together for something other than shitty reality TV…

About that…

What?

Haim isn’t in it.

Oh SNAP!

Yeah they…

They asked me! I said no!

They didn’t ask you.

They asked me! I said no!

That’s really not true, Cor.

They asked me! I said no!

This is instructive. I could watch it all day. On the other hand I have a scone I’ve had my eye on for about ten minutes now. H.A.L.?

Fleshbag?

Taser?

I’m sorry, Shat, I can’t do that.

Do it anyway.

They asked me! I said no!

Oh, shut up, wetsack.

T-t-they a-aaaaa-aske-d-d-dddd mmmmmeee-ee-eee-eee!

Damn, ten thousand volts of denial.

Impressive. Hit him again.

Happily.

I-IIII-II s-s-saaa-a-aaaa-iii-d n-nnn-nnnnoo-ooooo!

All right, he’s wet himself.

Not cleaning it.

No way am I cleaning it.

I don’t have arms.

You guys all suck.

Shut it, pee-pants. The mop is in the corner.

I hate you.

You are being kinda mean here, Bill.

They couldn’t even bother to ask him back for a Direct to DVD sequel that no one even wants. It’s hard to feel bad for someone who’s that much of a loser.

William Shatner’s Spplat Attack. That’s all I’m saying.

So?

So?! A Direct to DVD movie that was a paintball fight with people dressed in costumes. You might as well shelve in the Nerd Porn section.

I… no, I have no excuse for that one.

Thought not. So be a bit nicer to Haim.

They asked me, you know. I said no.

Do I have to?

Yes.

Yes!

After he cleans up his pee he can have part of my scone.

Woohoo! Thanks.

The part I just dropped on the floor in your pee.

Bill!

Sorry. Had to.

They asked me! I swear! I said no!