When I was in Baltimore the other week I got picked up at the train station and as we were driving away… well.

We stopped at a light and a woman in an SUV looked over and leaned out of her window.

“Excuse me?” she asked.

Vince, my partner in crime and the driver, leaned a bit into me and asked her what was up. She got out of her car and walked over to us, to the passenger side. This was, in a word, strange. To me at least.

Leaning into our car and looking at me she said “I think you need this, to be saved in Christ,” and then handed me some papers. I took them, in slight shock.

Vince put his hand on my shoulder and said “Don’t.” I think he was afraid I would tell her off or hit the crazy woman. But no I sat there dumbly. She got back into her car and the light changed. We drove off.

I looked at what she had handed me and laughed long and hard. I took a picture of it and well…

Yes. That’s right. Web Spinning Stigmata Jesus Spider-Man is in the hizz-ouse! Jesus loves you so much he spins webs of stigmata blood to stop criminals! With great, God-like powers come great God-like responsibility I guess. Or something.

Still, it is the funniest Jesus image I’ve seen in years. I’m so glad I took that woman’s papers. I ain’t so saved in Christ but at least now I know he wears spandex.