Do you remember Venom Cock? You know, Touched by Venom the debut novel by Janine Cross?

Well, let’s assume you do. It was her first novel and became kinda infamous. Well it was also the first book in a trilogy. I never read it but when an offer came up for me to get the 2nd and 3rd books in the trilogy… well I said “no”.

But then I thought about it some. Maybe they aren’t bad. I’ve never actually read her stuff. Maybe they are just marred by critics. Or maybe they are really bad and books 2 and 3 will be painful. I don’t know.

So I said “yes”.

They arrived today. Shadowed by Wings and Forged by Fire, books 2 and 3 of the Dragon Temple Saga. I will, in the next few weeks, attempt to read them, or as much as I can stand to. Then I will write about them here.

I swear I will go into them unbiased and open minded. I will keep in mind I didn’t read the first book. I will give them a fair shake.

What happens next is up to the books themselves.

Burrito

Breakfast Burrito

Baby Burrito

Due to all sorts of post-production delays (printer stuff, cover stuff and so on and more even than I will go into here) Strange Angel 3 has been horribly delayed. I apologize for that.

However they are now printed. Which means that while I am out of town next week they will arrive so that I can get them the week after (June 4th) and I will grab them as soon as I can find a way to lay my hands on them and ship out the pre-orders you guys have been so good about waiting for.

It also means that later tonight I will send out mails to confirm addresses.

Anyway. Thanks for the support guys. Sorry about the delays.

So I realized, the other day, I don’t write what I love.

Let me explain.

I adore big long sweeping novels. I love late SF from the 60s and 70s: Dhalgren, Illuminatus! and the like. Huge sprawling experimental novels that just take up as much space as they need to get the job done.

I love SF all across the board. I grew up with it and it has a homey feel that appeals to me and makes me smile most days.

I swoon over good old fashioned American noir: Spillane, Chandler, Jim Thompson, Hammet. It is so incredibly clean and precise. It’s full of dark harsh lives that flash brightly but briefly.

I love this shit, man. I tell you, I dig on it like you wouldn’t believe.

So, when I write fiction, I don’t write it. I don’t write the novels I would love to read, really. I write stories I want to tell and I work in genres I don’t spend too much time in. I like it that way.

See, when I work in the box of toys I love the most I get too careful. I over think and I worry and I try to make it different because I can quote, chapter and verse, everyone who has done something close before. And that kills off a story. It kills it good.

So instead I stay clear of my loves and write in the margins of spaces that I don’t read often. I’m free to play, there. I’m free to make my own rules and put my own spin on things and roam a little, inventing my own spaces.

Which is, for me, part of the point. It’s just interesting to realize, or it was for me, that while I will always write stories I care about, I will never write a book that would rank up in my own personal top ten.

I invent the new! And then I bring it to you. Hopefully, you enjoy the inventionation. Vrax accidentally inspired this thinking.

The Scene - the cafeteria

The Players - me (getting coffee), J (doing some work as the asst. manager of the caf.)

J: So how’s the coffee?

Me: Well… it isn’t technically harmful to man or beast…

J: Oh, come on, is it that bad?

Me: Look, it isn’t weaponized, all right? It won’t hurt anyone to drink.

J: It can’t be that bad.

Me: Have you tried it?

J: I don’t drink coffee.

Me: So you’re telling me it’s good because you want it to be good?

J: Our food is good!

Me: Yes, it certainly can be very good. But food is not coffee.

J: What’s wrong with it?

Me: It tastes like it was made by someone who has heard of coffee, you know? But they never got to taste it.

J: You should have Spanish coffee…

Me: With steamed milk and way too much sugar. Yeah. Been there. It’s good stuff, but that also isn’t what you have here.

J: So it’s really that bad, huh?

Me: It used to be far worse.

J: Wow what was that like?

Me: Ever punch yourself in the face with a horseshoe and then set your ears on fire while singing ABBA songs?

J: … what? No…

Me: Well that was about what it was like. This stuff is worlds better. Like… down to just a punch in the face with a horseshoe maybe.

J: Then why are you drinking it?

Me: Horseshoe fetish, I guess.

Here is video of a guy playing Van Halen’s Eruption. On violin. At full speed. Perfectly. Jesus.

And here it is on an electric Cello:

Tesla Motors firmware engineer Greg Solberg and his S.O. Lisa invented the electric Pink Bunny Slipper to ride around Burning Man with.

Seven and a half feet long and capable of speeds up to 15m.p.h. the slippers are battery powered. They are covered with pink Flokati rugs.

From the Solberg’s entry on Tesla’s blog site:

They each have a 36-volt system using six YellowTop 12-volt Optimas. Anyone who has used these 38 pound, 50 Amp-Hour, deep-cycle, sealed, yellow lead blocks will know that this is way more battery than one needs for a bedroom slipper. The batteries served their first life in my converted electric Honda Del Sol. The two front wheels are chain driven by a 7-inch brushed DC motor made by Advanced DC Motors. This kind of motive power is also way more than any fluffy footware really needs. The motors were surplus from the failed Tropica electric car venture by Renaissance Cars and are much happier working in the big toe of a giant slipper.

The frame is welded steel and plywood. I taught myself how to TIG weld on the soles of these shoes. “How hard can it be?” I said to myself. The lucky driver sits on a pillowed tractor seat and steers by the rear third caster wheel in the back. There’s a reason you don’t see too many rear caster steered vehicles. It has something to do with stability and cornering at speed, but I wasn’t listening to my friend Bob, who knows about these things. It was much more important to listen to my chief creative officer and get the visuals right. I understand forklifts are one of the few vehicles with rear wheel steering. If this Tesla Motors electric car thing doesn’t work out, I may apply for a job as a forklift driver.

Spent some time this weekend rethinking how I write. It’s a strange process. Not writing itself, although yeah that’s a strange one too, but the act of deconstructing what you are doing when you create is an odd one.

I write and I just let my mind do what it does. But with time and experience comes the need to refine the machine so you can use it to build new types of output. Natural building might be a compact car but if I want to build an SUV I have to work out how to adapt the parts and make the machinery work and flow right.

Thankfully I have friends I can talk it out with.

Anyway, that’s neither really here nor there, I suppose.

No, it’s Monday and I’m busy as hell and I want a few more hours of sleep.

I won’t get it.

Oh well.

Warner has released, through a string of fun, an actual picture of the Joker from the next Batman film. (go to http://www.ibelieveinharveydent.com/ and then http://www.ibelieveinharveydenttoo.com/ give the later a chance before it changes into the pic)