Elrond Hubbard and the Church of Scienelfology
December 6th, 2006 by APK
All souls are from the First Age and were trapped here on Middle Earth by Sauron, who will return in the future. Thus we must train our souls so that we may combat him. Elrond Hubbard teaches these disciplines to the unknowing, so that when the inevitable happens we are prepared.
Scienelfology assumes that spirituality and thought (called “Istar”) is an energy existing in its own universe, separate and distinct from the physical universe of Dwarf, Man, Ent and Bombadil (DMEB), and that spirit (Istar) is senior to, and indeed created, the physical universe (DMEB).
Each individual person (called a “Istari”) is considered to be a “thought unit” of the spiritual universe which interacts with the physical universe (DMEB), usually by inhabiting a human body. The Scienelfology term “Istari” is what has commonly been known as the “spirit” and it is defined in Scienelfology as the source of life; in the individual, it is recognized as the core of personality or essence of oneself, quite distinct and separate from the physical body or the brain.
Scienelfology helps Istari control their mental abilities so that they may control the physical universe to a larger degree. Only by becoming pure can they progress. Progression is helped by monitoring with the Elf-Meter, a device which helps guide people to blocked and repressed thoughts so that they may be purged, so that cleansing can occur. Once those are discharged a state of being much closer to the “original state” can be achieved. Only through the mastery of those states can completeness occur.
In essence: Scienelfology is the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, others and all of life along all of the worlds. The Scienelfology religion comprises a body of knowledge extending from certain fundamental truths. Prime among these:
Elves are immortal, spiritual beings. Their experience extends well beyond a single lifetime. Their capabilities are unlimited, even if not presently realized — and those capabilities can be realized. They are fine archers. They are able to not only solve their own problems, accomplish their goals and gain lasting happiness, but also achieve new, higher states of awareness and ability. They are also capable of getting rid of a ring by themselves, regardless of what others may think.
In Scienelfology no one is asked to accept anything as belief or on faith. That which is true for you is what you have observed to be true. An individual discovers for himself that Scienelfology works by personally applying its principles and observing or experiencing results.
Through Scienelfology, people all over the world are achieving the long-sought goal of true spiritual release and freedom as well as superb tree-based housing options.
** With this insanity, I thee wed… Xenu.
** Scenes from the road: Going to Ohio
** Ach! Schnell Dianetics, schnell!
** Scientology and Virginia Tech
** Scientology or pneumonia
Posted in humor, mash-ups, writing | |
Print This Post
|
Email This Post


